Missing you

Missing Mark/Dad:
There is not a day that goes by that we don't think about Mark and how we miss him.  Today, I found a handwritten note in the pocket of a jacket that I hadn't worn for many months.  It brought back a memory that made me laugh and made me cry.  Last week, the family all went to a farmer's market; we ordered gelato and Taylor asked me "What flavor do you think Mark would have ordered"?  "Strawberry" I replied, without a doubt.  Tyler asked me a few weeks ago "Mom, was Dad good at creating spreadsheets? Because that's something I do really well--I think I got that from him".  I completely agreed with him--he certainly didn't get that skill from me!  Keenan and Becca are researching buying a house; Becca commented that Mark's insight and wisdom would be so helpful to them right now as they plan, dream and make decisions about their future.  Noah turned 18 the end of July; it was our first big family event since Mark's passing.  Noah really wanted to get a tattoo for his birthday. . . so, on July 31 he had Mark's birthdate and date of his passing tattooed on his forearm.  He is reminded everyday that he had a Dad who loved him.  He is keenly aware of that. He is grateful for that time with him, but misses him deeply.  We celebrated Noah's birthday dinner at Brazil Grill, a place we had gone with Mark just once before.  Mark would have ordered a Brazilian cocktail, eaten too much and laughed with us as we enjoyed a great meal and conversation together.

Roses:
On the day of the memorial service, many of you brought roses for me.  I know that there were a few people responsible for organizing that (Celina & Anna--thank you).  For those of you who don't know, I will explain.  When Mark and I were remarried last summer, July 6, 2013, Mark purchased about 6 or 7 dozen roses.  As friends and family arrived for the ceremony, Mark appointed someone to hand out roses to the crowd.  One to keep and one to give to me after the ceremony was over.  I was not aware of this until the end of the ceremony when I was swarmed with hugs and roses.  I ended up with 2 beautiful bouquets.  It was a heart felt gesture from Mark and one of my favorite memories of that day.  Fast forward to July 6, 2014, the day of the memorial service, exactly one year later.  Word was put out via Facebook, email, text, etc that "Mark would want Kelley to have  roses today".  Many of you got wind of this plan and brought me roses.  It was so beautiful.  I was completely surprised and overwhelmed.  Thank you for loving me and knowing how much that would mean to me.

Moses, 11 months

The future:
As a family, we try to see each other on a regular weekly basis.  Keenan, Becca & Moses continue to  rent the basement as they figure out what the next step for them may be.  They are hoping to rent property on a farm and begin a micro-dairy this fall.  Finding the right place has been a bit of a challenge, but they are persistent and optimistic--the right place will come along. Moses will celebrate his first birthday next month!  He's taking his first steps and keeping us smiling--such a joy!  Tyler and Taylor are preparing for a potential move out of the Portland Metro area; details are still pending but it involves a job promotion and added responsibility.  It will be a good move but we will certainly miss being so close to them.  Noah will finish his summer job the end of September. He plans to attend community college beginning Winter term.  I am back to work at Providence.  I have a great schedule and enjoy my job.  All things considered, it has been good to be back in a routine.

Thank you:
We continue to experience the love and kindness of friends and family.  Your prayers, cards, emails, phone calls all mean so much to us.  It reminds me that Mark is not forgotten; that you are still thinking of him, missing him---just as we are.  It makes me feel that we are not alone and that is of great comfort.  Thank you for sharing your love for Mark with us.  We appreciate you!

Celebration of Life Service

Celebration of Life Service

Silverton High School Auditorium

1456 Pine St (use Kromminga Drive off Pine Street)

Silverton, OR 97381

Sunday, July 6 at 6 pm

Please join us as we celebrate the life of Mark Dennis Recker: son, brother, husband, father, friend.

In honor of Mark, if possible, please wear your Recker's Runners t-shirt, Recker's Reader's t-shirt or any school-related t-shirts (Silver Crest or Pratum).

An ice-cream feed will be served following the service in the Silverton High School Commons.

Saying Goodbye

Dear Friends and Family,

We are deeply saddened to tell you that Mark passed away this morning after facing cancer for over a year.  Mark was surrounded by his family for the past week and at the time of his death.  We have been anticipating the end since last Wednesday, but Mark is not a quitter, and just kept on fighting.  We've spent many hours together surrounding Mark's bed, looking at pictures, remembering special times and letting Mark know how deeply we love him.  We will miss him terribly.

We are planning a Celebration of Life service for Sunday, July 6th at 6pm at Silverton High School.  Details will follow.

Thank you all for your support, love, cards, meals, yard work, emails and other acts of love for Mark and for our family.

Sincerely,

The Recker Family

June 2014

Dear Friends & Family,

Recker Family July 2013

I wanted to follow up the last blog post with some answers, as I mentioned that there was an MRI and additional treatments that would be coming up in the weeks following.  The results of Mark's most recent MRI showed the tumor had not grown and in fact the area of concern had been reduced significantly.  This was perplexing because Mark's symptoms were not consistent with those results and his condition was worsening.  As I've mentioned before, we have tried not to live and die by MRI reports; what really matters is how Mark is doing, how he's feeling and how he's managing his symptoms.  After several calls to the oncologist, and describing how Mark was doing, it was clear to the Dr. that further treatment (ie infusions) would have to be on hold for now.  He needed to be stronger to tolerate the side effects.  Over the past week, his condition has showed steady decline.  We made the decision to put Mark on hospice care this week.  He will get personalized treatment of his symptoms (we are hoping for better pain control) and we will have access to a nurse 24/7 as well as a social worker (she's a counselor we've been working with for the past year so she already knows our family) and a chaplain.  We've had visits with each of them this week.  We feel very supported and cared for by the hospice team.

This is certainly not the blog update that I ever wanted to write.  All along we've been hoping for a miracle and Mark has had periods of feeling good enough to get out for a walk or a ride on his recumbent bike.  Recently, I looked into some clinical trials that showed some promise for treatment of brain cancer like Mark's.  I spoke several times with a Dr from Duke University who is using the polio virus for treatment of brain cancer; unfortunately Mark did not qualify because (ironically), his last MRI scan did not show tumor growth.  There is another study at the Mayo Clinic that is using the measles virus for treatment; I spoke to them this week also.  Mark would potentially be eligible for that study, but not until the first part of August.

Everyone wants to know "how long"?  We don't know, of course, but we do know that he is fading.  I have been hoping that we would be able to celebrate our "first" anniversary in July.  I am still hoping for that.  Please pray for comfort for Mark.  He can be restless at times and when he is feeling nausea, headache and fatigue all at the same time, he gets overwhelmed.  We want to keep him comfortable and decrease the amount of episodes where he is feeling those overwhelming waves of symptoms.  We are working closely with our hospice nurse to address those issues.

We have felt love and support from family and friends like never before in this past year.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Sincerely,
The Recker Family

Recker Family News May 2014

Just wanted to give you all an update on Mark's health.  I apologize for the lapse in blog updates.  It is hard to put in writing the changes we are seeing and I just haven't been able to share information that is not necessarily positive.  It's so much easier when there is good news to report.

Mark is spending progressively more time in bed or on the couch sleeping.  I would say he sleeps 18-20+ hours a day.  He has received 2 infusions of a drug that is supposed to inhibit tumor growth by blocking blood supply to the tumor.  His first infusion went well; his second infusion seemed to go well until the following morning when he woke up early with nausea, vomitting and severe headache.  I could not get his symptoms under control and ended up taking him to the ER.  The Dr. debated about whether or not to keep him overnight and left it up to me.  I wanted to make sure he was comfortable and didn't want to have to come back if things went south, so we stayed overnight to get him re-hydrated and get his pain & nausea under control.  He came home the next morning, Mother's day. 

Since then, he has not fully recovered as far as his energy level.  His headache pain seems to be slightly better.  We saw his oncologist last Friday.  He's ordered an MRI for sometime in the coming weeks to see how his brain looks, checking for tumor growth or change. 

He doesn't go out much as he just doesn't have the energy.  I would like to believe that he's just having a temporary set-back, but my training and intuition tell me otherwise.  These setbacks have been rough.  This is especially hard on the family; the boys see their Dad everyday and see the subtle changes and the big changes too.  We still tentatively hope for a miracle, however sometimes always hoping that tomorrow will be better is exhausting and disappointing.  This is just hard, and we are weary. 

Thanks to the many folks whose efforts to see that the  Silver Crest sign was completed. Mark had all of his extended family members go up to see it about a week ago. That meant a lot to Mark to be able to show them that.  He is a humble man, but I know he was so proud to be able to show his family the legacy he has left in the Silver Crest and also the Pratum communities.  The sign dedication ceremony at Silver Crest was also very much appreciated.  It was so nice for Mark to see his vision had finally come to fruition.  It was so great to have the students, parents and staff there to celebrate with us.

Mark at the Silver Crest Sign Dedication May 2014

We have hired a caregiver that will be here for Mark's care on days when I work.  As Mark's condition changes, we wanted to have someone in place who knew him and knew our family and I did not want to have to scramble for help when we really needed it.  Even though the boys would never say it, I believe the responsibility of caring for their dad while dealing with the grief and anticipating the loss, was too much to put on them. This will allow them time to just "be" with him.  This was a hard step for us to make, but feel it will be best for all of us.

We are by no means giving up. We continue to see his oncologist & neuro-surgeon and pursue treatment.  The MRI will give us a clearer picture of what is going on and what our next steps will be.  

It is possible that Mark will have an upswing and be able to spend more time awake and engaged.  If you would like to come for a visit, please let me know.  I try to pace his activity and visitors so that he doesn't get too overwhelmed and exhausted.  I will do my best to accomodate.  Please email me if you'd like to set something up.   Also, if you would like to respond to this blog, it is best to send an email rather than write comments here as we check our email daily and don't check the blog regularly.

Other news: Noah will graduate from Canby High School in June.  We are very proud of him and look forward to celebrating this milestone! His is working in a program through Clackamas County called Green Corps Fresh.  He works every Saturday at the Oregon City Farmer's Market selling espresso, smoothies and will eventually sell organic, locally grown produce.  It is a great program and he is learning a lot.  As one of the group's leaders, Noah is well-respected for his work ethic and commitment to making the program a success.  We are so happy to see him learning and excelling.  Way to go Noah!

Noah Thomas Recker

Thank you all for your love, prayers and support.  Continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Spring 2014

Keenan, Moses, Noah, Mark & Tyler. Cannon Beach, March 2014.

It’s been a while since we’ve updated the blog.  We’ve been hesitant, not because things are necessarily bad, but there’s no significant news to report.  I wish I could say that Mark is improving but progress is slow and hard to measure.  We take things one day at a time around the Recker house and sometimes hour by hour.  If Mark is having a good day, we try to make the most of it by spending time with the boys, Becca & Moses.  If it’s a “bad” day, we lay low, clear the calendar and allow Mark to rest.  Thank you all for understanding this; it’s not easy to turn away friends and family who want to visit but we are trying to pace Mark’s activity and rest so he doesn’t get too overwhelmed.  His fatigue can be debilitating at times. 

Mark is very encouraged by the sign construction under way at Silver Crest Elementary.  Amber Stutzman has been posting pictures on Facebook to keep us up to date on the progress (thank you Amber!).  The sign is the realization of a dream of Mark’s for his school and seeing it actually happen has made him very happy.  We are looking forward to seeing it in person soon. 

Sign construction at Silver Crest Elementary, March 2014.

We spent a few days at Cannon Beach to celebrate the boys’ March birthdays.  We rented a house that accommodated all of us. We enjoyed eating meals together, playing cards and even spent some time on the beach (in between the rain downpours)!  It was good to get away and  having everyone close was comforting.  We needed that. 

Mark’s treatment continues to be an oral chemotherapy pill for 5 days/month.  He has MRI’s about every 2 months to monitor how the tumor is responding to treatment.  We try not to live and die by these reports but rather take each day as it comes.  It's an emotional roller coaster to live any other way. 

Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  We are grateful for your kindness and words of encouragement.  Keep your cards, prayers and encouragement coming!

Cannon Beach, March 2014.

Happy New Year from the Recker's

Blazer Game December 2013

3rd Annual Express Christmas 2013

Happy New Year Friends & Family!  We wanted to give you a sampling of some of the highlights from the Christmas season.  There's a few pictures here to show you what we've been up to.

As the Trailblazers got off to a great start this season, we've been faithful, loyal, enthusiastic fans, watching every game we can and going to a few as well.  Mark & Kelley went to a game in early December.  It was a great outing and we were so grateful that Mark was feeling up to going.  We've determined that our grandson, Moses, is the key to the Blazers winning, particularly when the game comes down to the fourth quarter.  He has a red and black hat and Keenan & Becca make sure he's wearing it when the Blazers play.  Since this ritual started the Blazers have not lost a game.  Fellow Blazer fans, you're welcome!  :)

Moses with his lucky Blazers hat.

Cutest Baby Ever, and his parents

One of our family traditions, "Express Christmas", started 3 years ago.  The idea is to do a variety of Christmas related activities in a short period of time.  We decide ahead of time what the categories will be and then pick names out of a hat to determine the teams.  This year Becca, Noah & Kelley had Christmas train set-up and decor, Taylor, Keenan & Lexie (Noah's girlfriend) had dinner prep and Mark & Tyler had Christmas tree set-up and decoration.  We set a time limit, usually 1 1/2 hours to complete each task, then we sit down for a meal together prepared by the Dinner Team.  It's a fun way to kick start the Christmas season and we have a great time working together to pull it off.  After dinner we worked on gingerbread houses together.  It was a great evening and a memory-maker.  Sometimes I think we have the best kids on the planet--always willing, eager and excited to do these silly things their parents come up with.  :)

Please continue to keep Mark in your prayers.  Overall, he is doing well despite ongoing fatigue and headache pain.  He had a minor setback in early January and fractured a vertebrae in his back.  The prescription for healing is rest, ice, heat and time.  We will check back with his Dr. in about 4-6 weeks to have his back x-rayed.  Right now, it is not causing any more than minor discomfort.  Mark is planning to get on his recumbent bike again very soon.  It's hard to keep him down for too long!  Thank you all for your continued words of encouragement, cards, emails, prayers and not least of all, food. We are blessed and can see God's grace and kindness all around us; often it is in the words of encouragement or acts of kindness from friends, family and even strangers.  We hope that you all are experiencing some of that in your lives too.