Friday, August 29, 2014

Missing you


Missing Mark/Dad:
There is not a day that goes by that we don't think about Mark and how we miss him.  Today, I found a handwritten note in the pocket of a jacket that I hadn't worn for many months.  It brought back a memory that made me laugh and made me cry.  Last week, the family all went to a farmer's market; we ordered gelato and Taylor asked me "What flavor do you think Mark would have ordered"?  "Strawberry" I replied, without a doubt.  Tyler asked me a few weeks ago "Mom, was Dad good at creating spreadsheets? Because that's something I do really well--I think I got that from him".  I completely agreed with him--he certainly didn't get that skill from me!  Keenan and Becca are researching buying a house; Becca commented that Mark's insight and wisdom would be so helpful to them right now as they plan, dream and make decisions about their future.  Noah turned 18 the end of July; it was our first big family event since Mark's passing.  Noah really wanted to get a tattoo for his birthday. . . so, on July 31 he had Mark's birthdate and date of his passing tattooed on his forearm.  He is reminded everyday that he had a Dad who loved him.  He is keenly aware of that. He is grateful for that time with him, but misses him deeply.  We celebrated Noah's birthday dinner at Brazil Grill, a place we had gone with Mark just once before.  Mark would have ordered a Brazilian cocktail, eaten too much and laughed with us as we enjoyed a great meal and conversation together.

Roses:
On the day of the memorial service, many of you brought roses for me.  I know that there were a few people responsible for organizing that (Celina & Anna--thank you).  For those of you who don't know, I will explain.  When Mark and I were remarried last summer, July 6, 2013, Mark purchased about 6 or 7 dozen roses.  As friends and family arrived for the ceremony, Mark appointed someone to hand out roses to the crowd.  One to keep and one to give to me after the ceremony was over.  I was not aware of this until the end of the ceremony when I was swarmed with hugs and roses.  I ended up with 2 beautiful bouquets.  It was a heart felt gesture from Mark and one of my favorite memories of that day.  Fast forward to July 6, 2014, the day of the memorial service, exactly one year later.  Word was put out via Facebook, email, text, etc that "Mark would want Kelley to have  roses today".  Many of you got wind of this plan and brought me roses.  It was so beautiful.  I was completely surprised and overwhelmed.  Thank you for loving me and knowing how much that would mean to me.
Moses, 11 months

The future:
As a family, we try to see each other on a regular weekly basis.  Keenan, Becca & Moses continue to  rent the basement as they figure out what the next step for them may be.  They are hoping to rent property on a farm and begin a micro-dairy this fall.  Finding the right place has been a bit of a challenge, but they are persistent and optimistic--the right place will come along. Moses will celebrate his first birthday next month!  He's taking his first steps and keeping us smiling--such a joy!  Tyler and Taylor are preparing for a potential move out of the Portland Metro area; details are still pending but it involves a job promotion and added responsibility.  It will be a good move but we will certainly miss being so close to them.  Noah will finish his summer job the end of September. He plans to attend community college beginning Winter term.  I am back to work at Providence.  I have a great schedule and enjoy my job.  All things considered, it has been good to be back in a routine.

Thank you:
We continue to experience the love and kindness of friends and family.  Your prayers, cards, emails, phone calls all mean so much to us.  It reminds me that Mark is not forgotten; that you are still thinking of him, missing him---just as we are.  It makes me feel that we are not alone and that is of great comfort.  Thank you for sharing your love for Mark with us.  We appreciate you!